Ian Poulter and Patrick Reed choking it away down the stretch in Florida; it was as if the organisers of the Honda Classic drew things up just so Ryder Cup fans from both sides of the Atlantic could find a lot to enjoy as their weather-ravaged tournament came to a rain-delayed conclusion on Monday.
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It was American fans who got their cheap thrills first, as Poulter—a man still to win a strokeplay tournament on US soil in his career- dumped five balls in the water during his final round at Palm Beach Gardens, throwing away the solid lead he had held going into the final round.
It was certainly a fun experience for some (mainly those who have never been drawn to Poulter’s idiosyncratic ways), especially on the 14th: Where Poulter, still in a share of the lead at this point, fanned his tee shot into the water right of the fairway, dropped a ball just outside the hazard, and proceeded to slap another weak shot that clattered off a palm tree and into the aqua minerale from whence he had just came.
The Englishman’s caddie’s reaction said it all, as he proceeded to maintain a consistent five-yard distance between himself and his employer, seemingly not saying anything for the next three holes as Poulter stewed over his meltdown.
The triple-bogey left Poulter flailing, his frustration somehow only magnified when a birdie-birdie finish left him just a single-shot out of a play-off.
It’s funny… Everybody is trying to work out why I shanked it on 5th. Guys stop it. Some of the columns are shite. Haha I know why I did it
— Ian Poulter (@IanJamesPoulter) March 3, 2015
Oh, and before all that he had shanked one on the fifth to get the ball rolling (so to speak).
“It’s just bitterly disappointing to put myself in the position I have, to play as well as I’ve played … and a couple of loose shots has cost me this tournament,” Poulter said.
“It’s a shame to hand tournaments away. I’ve handed one away this week.”
That collapse had US fans cheering, but European fans (and, to be fair, some American fans as well) were soon to have their moment as Patrick Reed—bidding to join the likes of Rory McIlroy, Tiger Woods and Jack Nicklaus in winning five PGA Tour events before the age of 25—collapsed within sight of the finish line too.
The polarising Reed dumped one ball in the water at the 15th, then showed the course management of a 12-handicapper as he bogeyed the next two holes in succession.
The closing stretch at the Honda is undoubtedly tough but, like Poulter, Reed’s demise was entirely of his making.
“Any time you feel like you didn’t have you’re A-game and struggling a little bit, finishing inside the Top‑10, is always good,” Reed said, putting a better spin on his post-match comments than his last few shots of the tournament.
That left two players at the opposite ends of the spectrum to fight it out for an unexpected victory; Daniel Berger and Padraig Harrington.
Congrats to Paddy, works his ass off and never gave up after a few tough years, much to admire about that #HondaClassic
— Luke Donald (@LukeDonald) March 2, 2015
Berger’s swing has move moving parts than one of those old Honda adverts, but a final round 64 catapulted the 21-year-old rookie (previous best tour finish: T-10th) up the leaderboard and, once the big names started crumbling, suddenly made his six-under par target look difficult to match.
In the end it was Harrington, a veteran at the opposite end of the spectrum, who hit the same mark even as a few of his balls found a watery grave, resulting in extra holes in a tournament that had already gone an extra day.
It was hard to pick a winner. Berger’s swing invokes the old line about Eamonn Darcy’s, which was said by one wiseacre to resemble “an octopus falling out of a tree.”
The Florida native’s technique is hardly a thing of beauty, but it is undoubtedly effective and something the youngster has complete faith in.
Harrington, a few years removed from recent successes, has a more complicated relationship with his swing.
I won over a million$ and a Honda of choice but what I really like is the giant key for my games room wall. pic.twitter.com/MBqkTz6UXh
— Padraig Harrington (@padraig_h) March 2, 2015
The Irishman is renowned for being one of the hardest “grafters” on the tour, a quality that took him to his three major successes (approaching a decade ago now) and elevated him from journeyman status right around the turn of the millennium.
As time has passed, however, the 43-year-old has understandably lost a little something, a slow decline that has only sent him to the driving range with more determination.
For a while it seemed a week could not pass without Harrington trying a different teaching aid: the over-sized golf ball under one foot, the rubber bands around the arms, a toy monkey under the armpit (one of those may not be strictly true)… the list went on, the inventions always getting more crazy.
Harrington’s maniacal pursuit of golf’s secrets was legendary, but it looked like all the pay-offs had been consigned to the past. Until the 17th hole on Monday, when Harrington’s perfect iron shot came to rest three-feet from the cup and clinched victory.
Padraig Harrington may have missed the cut this week at the Riv but he’s still grinding on the range late on Saturday pic.twitter.com/Ula8TqcCiM
— Adam Schupak (@GolfweekSchupak) February 16, 2014
“He’s a great player, and that shot on 17 was kind of a dagger in the heart,” Berger graciously acknowledged. His time will probably come again.
“Last Saturday, I had a tough day on the golf course at Riviera,” Harrington would later add.
“It was an early start, everybody was tired and I heard a couple of players say, ‘I’m finished for the day and I’m not going to practice.’
“I said, I’ll go down and practice and hit my balls and I found something, which is nice.”
The day started out as an enjoyable one for fans of Ryder Cups and schadenfreude, but out of nowhere ended up delivering a heart-warming message about the values of practice, perseverance and patience.
The play-off should have been broadcast on the Disney channel, so saccharine was the conclusion.
As Harrington concluded: “Believe it or not, when I get in contention I can still hit the shots.”
He sounded more surprised than anyone.
Tiger-hunting season open for business
“Everything I said on that radio interview was only my opinion and not based on any firsthand knowledge or facts. I’ll be looked at as just some crazy f— nobody making accusations about Tiger.”
It feels right to start with that particularly quote, made to ESPN this week, when discussing the case of Dan Olsen.
Olsen—who you may (or almost certainly may not) remember from one unremarkable season on the PGA Tour back in 2004—this week hit the headlines after producing some remarkable claims about Tiger Woods and his various current issues during a local radio interview in the US.
Chief among them, the bold assertion that Woods is currently suspended from the tour for taking banned substances, rather than being injured as he claims (if that is the case, then he deserves an Oscar for his performance in limping around at Torrey Pines at the start of the month).
A selection of Olsen’s comments. No news as yet as to which ‘banned substances’ he was under the influence of at the time:
“I heard he’s on a month’s suspension. … It’s kind of a strong witness. It’s a credible person who is telling me this.”
“It’s not testosterone, but it’s something else. I think when it’s all said and done, he’s gonna surpass Lance Armstrong with infamy.”
“They’re not even going to remember the women. The women are going to take a distant second place. You’re gonna talk about him with Lance Armstrong…”
“I would almost bet [Woods’ golf ball] hadn’t been tested. So he’s really playing with – I’m not gonna say a cheater ball, because he has the help of the establishment, really – but he played a ball that nobody else could play. …
“So that combined with his enhancement issues, like having a Canadian blood spinning doctor in his phone, you know? I mean, I think people are starting to openly call it what it is, which is gonna be a problem for him.”
At this point it is worth stressing that Nike, the PGA Tour and Woods’ representatives have all come out to dismiss the allegations (and if Woods were caught taking banned substances, he would not be banned for just a month).
But it perhaps further goes to show that Woods really cannot catch a break at the moment, and his detractors see it as open season to keep taking shots at him.
The only winners from this scenario? The radio station involved.
Eyebrows must have been raised when the booker announced they could only fill the all-important golf talk slot with some guy related to Superman’s photographer—but it really paid off big time in the end. One in the eye for all the sceptics.
Whether they invite him back, of course, seems less certain.
“I want to make a full retraction to everything I said for the entire radio interview,” Olsen added to ESPN, “and I apologise to Tiger, Nike, [commissioner] Tim Finchem and the PGA Tour.”
Dude, where’s my etiquette?
To be honest, we should have just started this column with the upcoming video, so apologies for making you read through all that nonsense above—but at least a certain amount of salvation is finally at hand.
The creative geniuses (geniui?) at Dude Perfect have long had a reputation for some brilliant trick-shot-related videos, and this time they have turned their hand to golf.
Long drive master Jamie Sandowski helps them out, with the aid of props that include a bag of skittles and a watermelon doomed to meet a gory fate.
Enjoy.
