We need to have a talk about the selectors.
Mainly England’s – the bunch who selected the “three lions that did not roar” who went meekly into the good night in the recently completed Ashes series, losing four blot.
But let’s start with those three wise men from the England Selection Panel – the auspiciously titled National Selector and one Test wonder, James Whitaker (inset), Mick Newell (who never actually played a Test), and Angus Fraser, who was a pretty good seamer (177 Test wickets) and by-the-by is a pretty fair wordsmith.
Of course we can’t blame that terrific trio, without throwing in the coach, the greatly diminished Trevor Bayliss (he’s an Aussie by the way, so he was just clearly doing his bit to make sure Australia reclaimed the Urn) and England captain Joe Root.
This daring duo were also responsible for the names that went on the team sheets.
So where do we start? The players who should not have been picked: James Vince, Mark Stoneman, Tom Curran, Jake Ball, Chris Woakes and who can forget Mason Crane.
The likes of Tom Curran should never have been picked for the Ashes.
Or maybe we should go the other way and talk about the players who should’ve been picked, because unfortunately for them (fortunately for us) after the first One Day International the selectors have put themselves right in it.
By getting the selections right for their one day squad, at the first attempt we might add, they have shown up how absurd their test squad was.
A question for you Messrs Fraser, Newell and Whitaker. Well actually a few.
In what universe is Tom Curran a more worthwhile cricketer to have in a team than Liam Plunkett?
The lack of sheer pace in the test team was clearly an issue so why did you not select Mark Wood?
I might be blind but can Adil Rashid not spin the ball about nine times more than Mason Crane? Considering Crane hardly spins the ball at all I guess that isn’t too hard.
I’m not going to mention Jason Roy, who won the first ODI at the MCG yesterday with an astonishing 180 off 151 balls, as his form has been poor and the England selectors – although their acronym is ESP – aren’t telepathic.
There were a couple of priceless moments in yesterday’s match.
The first when Aussie opener David Warner was surprised by the bounce and yes – pace – of Wood and ballooned a ball up to second slip. The look on Root’s face when he took the catch and tossed the ball away in disgust said it all: “Where was that when we needed it the last couple of months?”
Wood’s pace could have been handy in the Ashes..
The next came a little later when Rashid spun a wrong-un, yes a wrong-un, back past the inside edge of Steve Smith’s bat, sending the Aussie skipper – he with the Bradman-like stats – on his way.
Remember this was a dead-flat MCG pitch prepared as a batsman’s paradise. Imagine what Rashid would have done on a Sydney wicket on day three or four. Sorry, I forgot – that was the Test picked out for the great hope of England leg-spin, Crane, to make his debut.
I don’t really need to say it but not only was Crane’s selection for that fifth Test wrong, it was unfair to the 20-year-old and compared against the non-selection of Rashid it looks bias and ageist, although at 29 Rashid is hardly over-the-hill.
And as for Wood, he wasn’t selected because they didn’t want to risk him and they were saving him for what exactly? Oh yes the incredibly important One Day Series.
As for Plunkett – you want to tell me a match-hardened, pugnacious cricketer like he was not more up for the fight against Australia down under than the boyish, green Curran?
It’s also impossible not to mention how free and flowing Joe Root was with the bat, relieved from the burden of captaincy. Was that guy who romped to 91no of 110 balls the same one who scratched around during the Test series with a top score of 83? He was after all facing the same two opening bowlers.
Maxwell’s non-selection does not reflect well on the Aussie selectors.
I promised I’d also throw a question or two the Aussie selector’s way, although after the Ashes they have earned a few brownie points, but the discarding of Glenn Maxwell does seem very premature – especially when the longish-tale of Tim Paine, Pat Cummins, Mitchell Starc, Andrew Tye and Adam Zampa is concerned.
On that is it really worth using Cummins and Starc in this series considering their previous and recent injury problems respectively? Shouldn’t they be put in cotton wool for the significant challenge of a four Test series in South Africa beginning on March 1?
But compared to England’s sins – these are almost forgivable. As for England’s panel – I agree with Sir Ian Botham – sack the lot of them!
